When people fall back into addictive patterns, there is often a series of warning signs that precede their behaviour.
Today’s blog draws on examples of mental health and addiction to show the sneaky way we can trick ourselves and others into walking the fine line or our own truth and the lies we can tell ourselves to create an opportunity to relapse. THIS IS NORMAL and to be expected.
Whilst our blogs focus is fundamentally on Crystal Meth- addiction comes in many forms and thus this list of clues is useful for any addiction.
So, here it is- a list of common thinking errors and behaviours that may indicate concern:
Rationalising high-risk situations:
· Addiction: “I know that taking this route home means passing by a bar, but it’s so much faster.”
· Mental health: “These medications help me, but missing a day or two isn’t a big deal.”
· Sex addiction: “I know that texting my ex girlfriends isn’t healthy, but I’m really lonely.”
Minimising a return to problematic situations:
· Addiction: “It’s not like I’m using crack cocaine anymore. I’m just smoking pot.”
· Mental health: “That job was a big reason why I relapsed into depression, but I’ve had some time off so it should be different now.”
· Sex addiction: “It’s not like I’m hiring escorts anymore. I’m just looking at online pornography.”
External locus of control
· Addiction: “I feel like life just sort of happens and I can’t control whether I’m sober. I’ll just see what happens.”
· Mental health: “My Bipolar just happens to me. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
· Sex addiction: “When I see an attractive woman, there’s nothing I can do: I have to talk to her.”
Over-commitment
· Addiction: “I’m exhausted, but I need to keep myself busy at all times so I don’t use.”
· Mental health: “Now that I’m feeling better, I need to tackle everything I’ve neglected when I was depressed.”
· Sex addiction: “I’m tired because I spent the entire weekend at my wife’s home doing yard work to prove that I love her.”
Avoiding or devaluing feedback:
· Addiction: “That addiction counsellor looks like she’s had her head in the books her whole life. How could she understand me?”
Mental health: “My doctor tells me that I’m hearing voices, but he really doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
· Sex addiction: “I’m not going to listen to some guy who has molested children tell me about how to live my life.”
Overconfidence
Addiction: “I haven’t gambled for four months, so maybe I don’t have a problem with this anymore.”
Mental health: “I feel better, so I probably don’t need to take my medications anymore.”
Sex addiction: “I think that my overindulgence in pornography was just a phase. I think I can start looking at it again.”
Not following useful direction from others:
· Addiction: “I haven’t used cocaine in a few months now. I don’t think I need to delete my dealer’s number on my phone.”
· Mental health: “My psychologist tells me to practice meditation for 10 minutes a day, but I doubt whether it will make any difference.”
· Sex addiction: “My sponsor told me to take the internet off of my phone, but I think that I’m fine.”
Comparing yourself to others:
· Addiction: “All of my friends can go out and have a drink. Why should I deprive myself?”
· Mental health: “My friends seem to handle more stress than I can, so I must be weak or something.”
· Sex addiction: “There are lots of people who have ‘friends with benefits.’ If we both agree, what’s the problem?”
Isolation:
· Addiction: “I’m going to skip my group this week and just stay home.”
· Mental health: “I know I should call my friend back, but it’s so much easier just to stay in bed.”
· Sex addiction: “People are worried that I didn’t come to group this week, but I’m not going to bother contacting them.”
Using recovery terminology to excuse behaviours:
· Addiction: “I had a slip – so what? Making mistakes is a part of recovery.”
· Mental health: “I have generalized anxiety, so I’m not able to be in crowds.”
· Sex addiction: “It’s not my fault that I cheated on my wife – I am a trauma survivor.”
Ignoring agreed-upon guidelines:
· Addiction: “I decided to have all of my beer at once instead of spreading it out over the week.”
· Mental health: “I don’t feel like taking my medications.”
· Sex addiction: “This relapse prevention plan doesn’t make sense when I travel, so I will only use it at home.”
Entitlement:
· Addiction: “I had a tough day today, so I deserve a reward.”
· Mental health: “I’ve had it with the world. It’s my time to be by myself for a while.”
· Sex addiction: “I feel smothered by my wife, so I need escorts because they give me what I want without any questions.”
Blaming others:
· Addiction: “If my partner/friend/family member didn’t work so much, I wouldn’t be so bored and end up using.”
· Mental health: “My partner/boss/friend/family member is really the cause of my anxiety issues.”
· Sex addiction: “Sex is everywhere in society. It’s impossible to not think about sex all the time when it’s thrown in front of you.”
If you can monitor your thoughts – you will be in a greater position to control your actions.
And remember
You Are Not Alone
JustIce: you are not alone 